Well, today's the day. Chris leaves for his yearly trip to Montana. I hope he has a good trip and it's everything he's been hoping it will be. I hope he is safe and happy. I hope he comes back rejuvenated. I hope he comes back. I am dreading this week. This will be either a make or break week for me. Others will see my true reality. They think they know, but they do not really. They've seen me cry. They've heard about the peeing in a diaper and the poooping in a bag. They've heard about the poop bag exploding. But they've never had to deal with it. Chris has done all the dirty work. Now they will have to do it. As much as I wish I could spare Michelle and Allison from this part of my care taking, it would be impossible. Oh, the bathroom issues. They have been the bane of my existence for as long as I can remember. I always wondered how getting worse would play out. Now I will see. But I'm sure IIt will get worse still. And I'm sure it will be in a way I can not even yet imagine. I know Michelle is putting up a good front. She believes it is worth having me around. But the reality will come for her. Maybe she will think it's all worth it. Maybe she'll make me have hope again. But maybe she'll see the hopelessness of it all.
That's what is happening here today in my shalom babayit.
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