I used to be a fitness and health food nut. Hard to believe now . To look at me now I am a lazy couch potato with a yen for potato.
I used to exercise every day. I ran or walked daily, and worked out with a variety of exercise videos and tv shows. My favorite videos were hosted by Denise Austin. She had a nice range of workouts from stretching, strengthening and yoga to step and aerobics both low and hi impact. My favorite tv show was Body Electric hosted by Margaret Richards. I could feel and see myself getting stronger though the years as I bounced and jiggled and huffed and puffed and sweated along with these fitness gurus. I hung on every word of encouragement they offered.
Denise would count down the reps by cajoling puuuush away that food. You're gonna look so gooood in those shorts! Sometimes her workouts would take place on the beach and she would croon about the beautiful scenery. The sky is blue and you can hear the waves in the distance. Breathe in, breathe out, watch your muscles flex.
Margaret Richards always ended her excise routine with some bit of advice and sometimes encouragement and tips on healthy eating. One favorite story she shared was when someone had said to her "how can you work out EVERY day?!" Her response was "how can you Not."
Before MS I really believed in the whole use it or lose it, feel the burn, work through the pain philosophy. Each session made me stronger! Sweating cleansed my soul from the inside out!
MS has changed that perception in every possible way. Using it results in losing it. There is no pain to work through, just rigidness followed by spacisity and uncontrollable shaking.
But the worst is that each session, or attempt at life, does not make me stronger. As only MS can do in its warped and perverted way, it makes me weaker.
It's as if I've been allotted a specific, finite amount of strength. Use it and lose it.
Another visual comes to mind: an hour glass filled with sand. It slowly feeds from the upper globe to the lower globe until it is finally empty. Times up. You're down.
Like sands through the hourglass. These are the days of your life.
And that is why I sit here in my comfy chair relishing the simplicity of my shalom babayit.
I realize that what constitutes “use it” these days has to be different from its previous definition. However, after decades of dealing with MS, I have also discovered that some usage practice, modified though it has to be, must be followed. The brain is an amazingly regenerative organ, if given half a chance. In cases like ours, it will take a lot of discipline, but from your story, you are no stranger to that. But, I write to you, not because I’m offering a cure or panacea. There are none. This is a crap disease. But, there are things one can do, given the hand we’ve been dealt, which could stave off even worse deterioration and (this has always been my hope) keep one in the best shape possible for the day when that elusive cure or effective treatment does show up. In the meantime, I invite you to look at two websites. Dave, of the first website, has MS. So does Dr. Terry Wahls, a medical doctor and university professor. She not only has had amazing results with herself but is conducting research into her methods. The first publication of that research is coming soon, but she has indicated that it is exciting. Anyway, I always got a little irritated when well-meaning people said, “Have you tried this or that?” So, I’m sorry if this seems the same. But these two people are the real deal and worth at least examining. What you do with it is another matter. And good luck.
ReplyDeletehttp://activemsers.blogspot.com/
http://www.terrywahls.com/
Judy! Thank you so much for your kind words of understanding and encouragement! My Dad always says Never give up because they could find the cure tomorrow! Thanks for the links. I'll check them out for sure.
DeleteTammy, I was really moved by this. I have M.E. (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis) and really identify with the "use it and lose it" scenario. I have to try and live within my extremely limited energy envelope - if I overdo things, I suffer the classic "post-exertional malaise" which can sometimes be delayed by 2 or 3 days after overdoing it - I end up laid up on the recliner suffering profound exhaustion and a general exacerbation of most of my other symptoms, sometimes lasting several days or more. The only way is through, and rest, rest, rest! We have just sold Mum's house (in a clean enough state that I was not ashamed of it lol) and I knew I was overdoing it! I am now having to take time out from our own packing up in preparation for our own forthcoming move.
ReplyDeleteNot balancing activity and energy resources can result in serious relapse which can take months, years, or never to get over. This is a place I don't want to be, so pacing is the answer! I am able to do much more with my various mobility aids than I could without - my wheelchair has been my lifesaver when going out.
I used to be active and busy and hoped I would never fall ill because I didn't have time for it! Now I have time. Through it I have discovered art, and online friendship, and an understanding of disability and the plight of others. Given the choice, I wouldn't change a thing.
Many thanks for visiting my blog, and glad you enjoyed our Museum visit! I have not been so active in Blogland recently because of the house move, but hope to get back to it really soon!
I love, love the title of your Blog! For someone who doesn't get out of the house much, it says it all for me!
Shalom,
Shoshi