Dreams and Dreams

Dream:  noun
An aspiration,  goal, aim.
 It's nice to have dreams. Most people  have dreams. We strive for something or for the next event. That is what keeps our  life fresh and challenging. I've always been a simple person, so my dreams were always simple. When I was little and the question "What do you want to be when you grow up?"was asked of the child Tammy,  I would reply "I want to be a wife and mother." I am so lucky. I achieved my dream. Not too many people can say that. I have the most wonderful husband and two wonderful children. At 49 years old, the older Tammy is quite content and comfortable. I've always worked. The jobs I've held were never my source of fulfillment. Rather they were the means to providing an end. I worked to make extra money to help make our house a home. It always gave me great pleasure to buy my children gifts. They are not spoiled. They were always aware that I worked hard to provide these types of materialistic sources of joy. It was a good lesson. I taught them that it is good to work hard so you can play hard. Creature comforts, when earned, are a just reward. I taught them that I worked to make our lives better. Sometimes my job would steal away valuable family time, but the lesson there was commitment and loyalty. Mostly, I was able to balance work with family. As my dream was that of family not the job, the priority was not money. We did not require expensive things or vacations. We kept it simple. I think we did pretty good.
 In general, it is not good to slip into a state of complacency. It is supposed to be better for your psychological health to always try to change things up a bit. The experts advise people to try to learn new things as you age. People should continue to grow even as they enter their golden years. So I realized I must create some new dreams. Probably not going to take a lot of insight to realize that my new dreams are of grandchildren and a house full of cookies and toys and the kind of joy that comes with age and not worrying about the small stuff.  A messy house and fingerprints on the walls would be a reminder of love and fun. There is a commercial I see on TV for a drug called "Reclast" it is prescribed to women to help them delay the progress of Osteoporosis. The older woman is chasing her grandchildren through the park proclaiming "I am Nana, friend, secret keeper, and playmate." This is my dream (only I would be Bubie, not Nana). This dream will never come true for me. MS has stolen this.

Dream:-noun
a succession of images, thoughts, or emotions passing through the mind during sleep. the sleeping state in which this occurs.
-verb (used with object)
to see or imagine in sleep or in a vision.
When I sleep (which is a lot), I dream a lot. In my dreams, I am always walking. Sometimes I am running. Sometimes, in the dream I know I have MS, but somehow I am able to walk. And in the dream I think to myself wow I don't have MS anymore! But I am wearing weird shoes that don't fit right. They are too small. Too tight. Inappropriate for the terrain I am walking on. High heeled open toed sandals with thick grey wool socks. Silk slippers with fancy embroidery on a snowy hill. But I walk in the dream. Up a hill. Through the dark. Through the snow.  Along a busy highway with the cars speeding by. Through an airport opting to walk rather than take the moving walkways. I am always rushing. To get where? I wake up and have to pee.
I am always walking in my dreams.

I am lucky that I have a comfy chair in my Shalom Babyit to sleep and dream.